Sometimes It Is Better To Say Nothing
For September 3th 2022
Tehillim - Psalms 39:2
אָמַ֗רְתִּי אֶ֥שְׁמְרָ֣ה דְרָכַי֮ מֵחֲט֢וֹא בִלְשׁ֫וֹנִ֥י אֶשְׁמְרָ֥ה לְפִ֥י מַחְס֑וֹם בְּעֹ֖ד רָשָׁ֣ע לְנֶגְדִּֽי׃
"I said to meself: I will guard my ways and keep my tongue from sinning - I will neither complain nor question G-d's judgments. I will guard my mouth from complaint as if it were muzzled, even while a wicked person is before me and continues to cause me pain."
It reminds me of Job 2:10
Should we accept only good from G-d and not accept evil?" For all that, Job said nothing sinful.
It is not difficult to receive the good from G-d, we gladly accept it, and how easily we forget to be grateful for it or say thank you.
But when we receive the "bad," we are often not quiet, and easily complain. It is difficult to remain silent then, and so it is good to pay extra attention to our mouth, to muzzle it, so to speak.
We know that everything G-d gives is good, even when we don't understand it and the good is covered for us. But knowing and standing in that faith is extra difficult when there are wicked people who try to make us doubt by their words. And just as the friends of Job give their opinion and advice, an opinion and advice that we don't need and causes us to doubt and therefore increases our suffering.
True friends, are friends who ease suffering and remain silent with you. For suffering does not require third party explanations.
Brought By Angelique Sijbolts
Angelique Sijbolts is one of the main writers for the Noahide Academy. She has been an observant Noahide for many years. She studies Torah with Rabbi Perets every week. Angelique invests much of her time in editing video-lectures for the Rabbis of the Academy and contributes in administrating the Academy's website in English and Dutch. She lives in the north of the Netherlands. Married and mother of two sons. She works as a teacher in a school with students with special needs. And is a Hebrew Teacher for the levels beginners en intermediate. She likes to walk, to read and play the piano.
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The tradition of remaining silent until the mourner starts a conversation first is truly golden. And you summarized it quite perceptively in your last paragraph! In the society I live, people must say something to the afflicted necessarily. And when the afflicted is you, it feels as if more more bricks have been added to your suitcase when peers impetuously try to say something comforting.